Thursday, January 15, 2015

"No!"

So I'm not really one to look to "parenting books" or ask for much parenting advice.  Maybe that's a really foolish thing but I guess I'm just confident in my lack of confidence...and feel okay about it.  I also don't tend to over think things like parenting much.  Am I going to do things that my kid hates?  Am I going to embarrass him?  Will I make the wrong decision multiple times?  Yes, yes, and YES!  Overall though I know that the love of us, apologizing to each other, and most importantly the love of God will cover over a multitude of shortcomings...and overall...everyone will be okay...and hopefully not have TOO big of a therapy bill at the end of their life.  ;)

That being said...
I definitely AM curious to know how other parents have handled the word "no".

I think I was under the impression that this would come later?  Jack has picked it up and says it ALL THE TIME.  Sometimes just randomly and sometimes with every bit of defiance that his little heart can muster.  I ignore it half the time (when it's not pointed directly at me) but honestly...sometimes I'm ready to go bonkers if I have to hear it one more time! ha!

The weird one is when he says it vehemently regarding something that he WANTS!  Like, he asks to be put in his chair for a snack and then when I go to do that he says, "Noo!" and runs off.  Mmkay.  Toddlers...kinda weirdos for sure.  ;)  At first I used to just ignore him and say, "Ok, when you are ready to get in the chair then we can do that".  That got us nowhere though.  He'd whine and never come.  I've found in THOSE situations the best thing is to hug him and ask him if he wants in his chair and he softens right up and goes in willing. 

To be completely honest I have never been one to "cater" to people.  I was the friend in junior high/high school that when a perfectly skinny friend says, "I'm so fat" I would sarcastically say, "Oh man, you are so right!" Fortunately I've grown out of that but that whole thing sorta feels similar to parenting sometimes.  There is a lot of redundancy and "doing things just to create security".  Maybe Jack just needs a hug and for me to get down at his level and ask him if he wants to get in his chair.  Why?  I don't know!!!  To feel secure, to feel loved, to feel like his feelings matter at the tender age of 18 months?  I couldn't tell you.  I DO think it's a good thing...for me at least.  It certainly stretches me and makes me think a little more about the feelings of this little person running around by my feet.  To not just assume that he knows that he matters and that I love him.

Phew.  That was a tangent.  Still not sure if any of that made sense above buuuut...onward!

Anywho.  So, I'm curious.  What do you do with the word "no".  Just ride it out?  Maybe at first it's more of a communication novelty and will fizzle out?  Lay it on me.  Give me your best parenting advice regarding this. :)

1 comment:

  1. I think, in some part, it's just them learning their words. I remember Bella saying no to everything. I wouldn't correct her unless it was talking back to me. Rhett doesn't say it too much but every now and then, I'll say it's nap time, or time to come to mama, and he'll look at me and say, "no!" Then, I take the time to get down on his level and say something to the effect of, "Oh no, Rhett. You don't say 'no' to mama. When Mama says 'come', you say, 'okay, mama!'"... I think, eventually, the more words they learn, and if you're consistent on correcting when wrong, it goes away.
    He sounds like a doll. Wish I could see him again!!

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