Saturday, April 25, 2015

An Update

Well, I don't normally blog on Saturdays.  Actually, judging by how long it's been since my LAST post I apparently don't blog the other days of the week too.  :)

Anyways.  If you follow me on Instagram though you may have seen some posts that have eluded to a labor being around the corner.

Well.

It's not. Ha!

Actually, maybe it IS but I am driving myself crazy thinking about it and I'm kinda over it.

So the last week I have had contractions on an off.  Some painful, some more like Braxton Hicks.  I had my appt on Thursday and she checked me.  4 cm dilated and 90% effaced.  Basically she said that I'm super ready, just kinda walking around in minor labor.  This basically describes it perfectly.  My body is just done.  I continue to dilate, I am nauseas and have little appetite, and when I DO eat...my "digestion" is um...not so good.  We will leave it at that.

So, we made the decision to go ahead and have the mother in law come out.  There are no flights that arrive in the morning so if I went into labor and had to go to the hospital at night the earliest she could get here would be the next day in the afternoon...which would sorta defeat the purpose of coming to be here with Jack.

Thursday I felt downright awful.  Cramping and contractions on and off like crazy.  When we picked my mother in law up at the airport I was driving and taking wrong turns, fully getting lost...all while having intense contractions...mostly in my back.  We picked her up, went home.  Eventually I went to bed only to be woken up a 1/2 hour later to more contractions.  I was up on and off until 3 am, fell back asleep, woke up the next morning and felt ok. 

We went on a walk and hung out in the morning.  I took a shower and then they started up again.  This time they never stopped in my back.  It was pretty much constant back cramping and then they would swing around to the front for a minute...this was happening every 3-4 minutes.  This went on for over an hour where I finally called my OBGYN and asked them what they thought.  They told me to go in.  I was worried that it wasn't the real thing.  Like I had a feeling.  It's been so on and off that I just didn't think it was the real thing.  I had contractions all the way there (1/2 hr drive), while filling out paperwork, and then they put me on that nice comfy bed, strapped the monitor on aaaaaaaaaand...they basically stopped.  Gaaaaah!  So frustrating.  I knew I was going home at that point.  And I did of course.

I came home, laid down and tried to take a nap...they of course started back up again...so I didn't sleep.  By the end of last night I was so exhausted and done.  I don't mind not going into labor and being pregnant a little while longer.  I really don't.  But going through the contractions on and off and feeling so sick and not sleeping.  Not so great.

Anyways, last night I didn't have a single contraction and slept completely through the night.  Thank the Lord.  I really needed a good night of sleep.  Today I've had some tiny baby contractions...more like Braxton Hicks probably.  I still feel sick but I can push through that.

I DO feel bad that my mother in law is here and it seems like not much is happening at this point.  And as positive as my doc was about me knocking on labor's door I honestly could go past my due date and walk around dilated and fully effaced for however long.  It seems like I won't EVER go into labor on my own probably because with Jack I had to be induced due to my water leaking.  So...it just seems like something that isn't real in some ways.  Like people don't REALLY go into labor on their own.  That I won't EVER need that hospital bag and car seat.  So dumb that it feels that way when obviously that's not true.

I felt so good with Jack that while yes, I was excited to meet him I didn't have a strong desire to go into labor.  I was totally content being pregnant, expected to go past my due date, and yeah.  Was totally fine. 

This one has been a little different.  I think because my mother in law is here I'm definitely feeling a bit more pressure to get this baby out but obviously in the end...stressing about it does nothing.  So I'm relaxing and enjoying the fact that I'm not experiencing contractions right now and hopefully...she will come soon.  :)

So there you go.  The latest "bringing forth the baby" update.  Happy Saturday!  :)

Friday, April 10, 2015

This Week...

Oh glorious Friday.  You are here.

We don't have much in store for the weekend but it's quite nice having Jason home two days in a row.  Especially this late in the pregnancy game.  :)

So this week...

  • Monday was a day full of contractions.  Crazy.  I didn't really have any contractions that were just a little ouchy with Jack.  I basically felt great up until my water started leaking.  Then I was induced and it felt like it went straight to "holy cow this hurts".  It was a good 8 hours of steady contractions.  At first I thought nothing of it.  Then they moved into my back and hurt a bit more.  Finally I called my doctor and asked them what they thought.  They told me to get off my feet and relax for the rest of the night.  I figured at this point it had already been going for 8 hours so what's one more hour so I can make dinner?  By the time I was done cooking...they had pretty much stopped.  Had one really good one as I was falling asleep and nothing since.  Kinda nuts.  But glad she's still cooking.  :)
  • I have been working working trying to finish up my orders so that I can close the shop.  Kind of a tricky thing.  I'm the sole worker so I basically can't have any pending orders anywhere near the time I could go into labor.  Hoping to maybe be able to close it down this weekend.  We will see I guess.
  • One of my favorite things about Arizona so far have been the morning and evenings.  Seriously.  They are glorious.  Perfect for walking.  Jack and I go on morning walks when we can and I usually go out again with Jason and Jack after dinner.  Good for the digestion.  :)  Apparently it gets SO hot in the summer that even the nights are still in the 90's.  Yuck.  That sounds awful.  So, gotta live it up while we can. 
  • If you didn't see on Facebook there was a bit of a bummer moment when we saw on our hospital's website that they had a complete sibling ban on all children under 13 years old.  They were not allowed to come beyond public waiting rooms in the hospital for visitation.  I don't really mind where Jack meets his new sister.  I mean likely he's not going to grasp the fact that she's here to stay until she's in our house.  But I would like to see him so yeah...I was hoping he would be able to come back.  That and my mother in law would be able to come back and see the baby without juggling who has Jack in the waiting room.  I was fine with it and knew we'd figure it out but yeah...had my appt. today and they just lifted it so kids are allowed to come back.  Yay!  This also makes going into labor a lot easier if there's a bit of time that Jack needs to be with us while grandma gets here.  Phew.
  • Today I went to a Mom's Bible study at the church that we probably won't be staying at.  Ha!  It was pretty good though and I met a couple of moms that seemed pretty nifty so hey...maybe I'll make a friend or two here after all.  ;)
  • Oh, and back to the appt I had today.  Dilated to 3 cm...but the cervix?  Not ready.  So.  No baby soon it seems.  She said I am free to go into labor tomorrow.  When I hit 37 weeks.  ha!  She'll probably keep us waiting and on our toes though.  Once again I'm expecting to hit my due date...or go passed it.  Hopefully I'm pleasantly surprised.  :p
  • I had a coupon that was about to expire and so I bought newborn diapers and holy cow they are TINY!  I can't believe Jack's butt was once that small!  ha!
Alright.  That concludes the summary of my week.  I hope you all have a great weekend!  <3

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Church

I have this rare break where I feel like...hey, I'm going to sit down, relax, and maybe blog.  House is mostly clean ;), laundry is mostly done...and I only have a couple of orders pending...which I need to get supplies for after naptime soooo...here I am.

We have been in Tempe for 3 months.

And we need to find a church.

We've actually been going to one church the whole time we've been here.  It was recommended to us by a friend in San Franciso.  It's fine.  I mean, it's Gospel centered and pretty friendly...and they love Jesus so yeah.

But there is one thing that we are having trouble with.

The worship.

Okay, so here's my thing.  I've always thought that we come at church hunting pretty selfishly.  Very "what can I get out of it" versus "what can I contribute".  I think as Christians we can be a little whiney and "waaa waaaa I don't like this, this, and that so I'm outta here".  So we have TRIED to keep an open mind.  I mean...we've given it about 3 months.  We joined a small group/class.  We've tried you guys. Triiiiiiiiiiied.

But I just can't.
I can't do it.

I cannot get passed the worship.  It is smoke machines, light shows (that literally laser you in the eyes), performer focused.  The congregation hardly sings and I am so. stinking. uncomfortable.  I dread it.  Literally am relieved when it's over.  I mean I'm sure the worship leaders love Jesus.  I do not doubt that at all.  I think though that maybe there might be a little room to step back and let the Spirit move within people on it's own?  Like maybe God doesn't need THAT much help.  Oooh.  Is that messed up to say?  I have no problem with contemporary music, not singing hymns, etc.  If they kept their style and songs as is and just toned it down I think we would be fine but yeah.  Apparently I am old, lame, and boring and I just can't deal.

We have really enjoyed the pastor and his sermons though.  They are always Bible focused and right on and so that's what makes it hard...and seemingly like a dumb choice to seek out another place of worship.  I don't know.  Maybe we will come crawling back.

Finding a church is definitely tough.

I know that it took a little while to feel completely at ease at our church in San Francisco.  It had a completely different set up.  We took Communion every Sunday, stood up, sat down, prayed the same prayers, followed the church calendar and etc.  But it was a good church.  They LOVED the city of San Francisco and served it in beautiful, huge ways.  Currently they are going through a bit of an upheaval on their stand on gay marriage.  While I don't agree with their opinion on it I don't know if it would warrant us leaving the church if we were still there like many have.  The Gospel is there and God is working and I think there is grace for those who don't quite have the right answers to the questions out there...heck...I don't know the right answers.  The Gospel is still very much intact but apparently the pastor and some of the elders (some left because of it) have a different interpretation on gay marriage.

City Church's stand practically went viral in the "Church World".  And it just has me thinking.  Is there something wrong with me that I would be willing to stay at a church that finds gay marriage acceptable (they are allowing gay married couples to become members if they wish, versus before they would only allow people who are struggling with being gay but are celibate) but I'm not willing to stay at a church because they have cheesy, over the top worship?!?  I just feel like that's weird and maybe I need to check myself.  I don't know.  I've always took far too much pride in my "consistent philosophical thinking".  My philosophy background has both ruined me and helped me immensely.  I understand that the issue of homosexuality is a HUGE thing in San Francisco.  Having made a few good friends that are homosexuals...and having Jason walk along side a friend and have conversations with him AS he was processing his sexuality and "coming out" has made us realize that it's a big, complex, personal, crazy thing and they are people.  They are real people who need our love and friendship like every one else in the world.  And I'm not going to call them sinners because seriously, who the heck am I?!?  While I have my opinions on what constitutes a marriage under God it really doesn't matter what I think at the end of the day.  It doesn't. 

I am very conservative on many fronts and yet I think that as I get older I realize that there is a lot of grey out there.  A lot of grey because people are not black and white.  We don't fit into nice neat categories 100% of the time.  We fluctuate, we change, we grow, we sin, we have moments of faith, moments of weakness, moments of strength, and moments of utter failure.  We are poor sinners who need a Savior and we are so very "grey" most of the time.  A mix of good, bad, and ugly.  And Jesus loves us just the same.  And therefore...I will love those around me just the same.  Because I'm no better.  And God knows.  And God judges.  And that is so very much enough for me.  I mean really, it's a relief.  Because it's a heck of a lot of pressure to feel like you have to have and know the right answers to everything.  WOW THAT WAS A TANGENT!  :) 

Anywhooooooooo, back to the original thing about the worship.
So what do you think?  Should we suck it up?  Is it enough to warrant looking for another church?  Dish it baby!  :)

Friday, April 3, 2015

This Week through Instagram!

I straight up love Instagram.  Really and truly.  I think the main reason is because I follow a very small amount of people.  Mostly my peeps who I hold near and dear aaaaaand just a couple of companies who I adore and respect.  Also...who doesn't love the picture aspect of social media?!?  When I see a lot of words I'm all, "blah blah blah...show me the pictures".  And THAT is what Instagram is.  Little flashes and snapshots into people's lives.  And it's fun.  :)

Anywho.  I'm evangelistaluv on Instagram if you are so ever inclined to follow along.

So.
Here is this week through my Instagram feed.

A friend of mine was requesting a "bump" photo and so I obliged.  But then there's the unmade bed...and dirty clothes pile on the bathroom floor.  She probably didn't want to see THAT!  :)  Well, that's 35 weeks pregnant for you.  And yes, my boy looks HUGE in this picture.  Even though I tell him not to...he just keeps growing.  Punk.  :)


So at my last obgyn appt...which by the way I start every week next week....oye...I didn't gain a pound.  In two weeks.  I actually LOST 2 pounds.  Oops.  I have had NO appetite lately though.  Maybe it's the heat + the fact that I have a child inside of me smashing my stomach to the size of a pee?  This is basically the only thing that sounds good to me.  Smoothies.  And this blender.  Seriously.  It's amazing.  I have owned 3 blenders...and broke them all.  A Vitamix or even just the standard Ninja blender was outside of our budget.  I asked for this for Christmas and seriously...it's amazing.  I thought that it would be smaller then a standard blender but really it isn't.  It also came with a smaller food processor cup which I totally use on the occasions I don't feel like pulling out the massive Cuisinart.  Anyways, it blends like a champ, is so easy to clean and...it's like $35 on Amazon.  Ha!  Love it!


Lotta Jansdotter.  I am in LOVE with this designer.  Ok, I'm in love with a lot of fabric designers.  Jack's quilt is made from a Jansdotter line.  I wanted to do baby girls in one but was trying to keep the price down.  Anyways, I was a little thrilled to see that my local Joanns is caring her stuff and I wanted to buy. it. all.  But didn't.  But I might go back.  Because I'm having trouble resisting those two prints on the far right and left...the charcoal with those yellow cluster dots.  Swooooon.


There are some things you deal with working from home that you most likely wouldn't experience in an office.  Like your co-worker making roaring sounds as he rolls all over your cut and sorted headbands.  Yup.  Good ole Jack.  When I saw what he was doing I gasped and he just froze.  And slowly stood up and backed away.  bahahaha.  I didn't even get mad at him because his expression was too great.  And he legit didn't know that it wasn't okay so...there's that.


 I feel pretty good in the morning and then 2pm rolls around and the nausea kicks in.


My boy having a conversation with his animal friends.  It was a little  hard to follow but it was mostly about his Daddy and his choo choos.  Also...we have fully transitioned to the toddler bed!  Yay!  Naptime was going great but we were having trouble half way through the night.  I guess he was falling out of his bed.  Yesterday I bought an extra large pool noodle, tucked it under his sheet and that did it.  Slept through the night.  Someone asked how I did it and honestly...I didn't do anything special.  We attempted probably 6 naptimes and they all resulted in him in his crib.  Then a few days ago I thought...I'll try today.  Put him in his bed for naptime, he went to get out, and before he could I said, "Stay in your bed buddy."  He did, and then fell asleep.  He did so well at naptime I figured I would try bedtime.  He fell asleep no problem, didn't even try to get out of bed...but I found him on the floor at least once...and he wasn't sleeping through the night soooo...back in the crib half way through the night.  I must confess that I felt a little sad realizing that he's not in his crib anymore.  That little face standing up in his crib waiting for me to pull him out.  No more.  Awe.  I guess I'll have another little face soon.  And it WILL be nice to know that Jack is good to go on any sleep transitions for a while and we can just put baby girl in the crib whenever we are ready without worrying about moving Jack.  So that's the toddler bed update.  :)


Went to have a coffee date with Daddy at his work.  And Jack's wore shades like all the cool college kids.  :)
80 degrees in our house at around 1pm.  By the evening it's usually 84.  We WILL use our AC one day.  But we are holding out and enjoying the cheaper electric bill for as long as possible.  :)  Really though...we can feel our bodies acclimating already.  And I think I'm acclimating to this weather a lot faster then I did to San Francisco fog and cold.  Ha!  :)


And this Etsy order.  Adore.  She's doing a 6 month photo shoot with her little one and I love what she ordered.  And the color combos.  Grey and orange are one of my fave combos.  :)  And yes...I will be closing up shop for a month or so in the next couple of weeks.  You know...being the sole employee I probably shouldn't have any pending orders...and then go into labor.  ;)

And that was our week via Instagram.  Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  We are going to a pizza place tonight that involves a giant organ and singing.  :)  Should be fun. ha!

Monday, March 30, 2015

My Boy Jack

I adore my boy.
I mean, don't we all adore our children?!?  I truly delight in my little guy though.  Mothering is so fun, and such an adventure.  Full of spontaneous laughter...and tears.  Ha!  We just got over another one of those 3-4 day "crabby, whiney, developmental blurps".  That's what I call them anyways.  ;)  Basically he isn't himself for a few days and is super clingy, angry, cranky, and whiney.  And then one morning he wakes up and he's back.  His normal easy, happy go lucky self is back and there is usually some new development that's taken place.  In this case he's adding REAL words at a record pace.  He's starting to mimic things that we say.  He's always "talked" a lot...we just never knew what he was saying.  Well, I did usually but nobody else. 
I'm sure that once baby girl comes Jack won't be receiving quite the same amount of face time on this blog.  Although this age.  Seriously?!?  I adore it.  I mean I loved him little but I think I appreciate the interaction and the laughs that he gives me so much.  I also think though that I will appreciate the "itty bitty stage" of baby girl more then I did with Jack.  I was sad to see him get older and yet...staying home with a tiny baby who literally wanted to be held every moment of the day was fatiguing and well...a little boring at times.  I remember always telling myself to "take it all in" and to adore the quiet moments where you just sit and breathe in your little sleeping baby.  So I remember being conscious about the fact that newborns are beautiful miracles that only stay so tiny for a few short months...but I also loved watching him grow.  And it's still the case.  That being said, I will have the comparison of a newborn and toddler...and knowing how fast these almost two years have gone by with Jack...and that it will probably go by FASTER with Baby Girl now...I think I will relish and adore her tininess all the more.  Does that make sense?!?
It's really weird to think that I literally have probably 4 short weeks left with just Jack as my little side kick.  I'm excited to add a little one to our clan.  Very excited.  A little nervous but yes...we're ready.  Jason is VERY ready.  I was having some contractions yesterday (nothing bad but a little outchie) and he kept telling Jack, "Mama is going to have our baby."  He was kidding of course but yeah...Daddy wants to hold his little girl, and so do I.  While I was okay with Jack coming early...if he was ready I think I almost need these last few weeks.  Not that I'm going to really get my head around this concept of adding a new baby...but just to...cherish and enjoy these days where I can really focus and give my time to this crazy little boy.  I truly think he will benefit, dare I say...needs a a sibling.  He will learn things from interactions with his sister that I could never teach him but I also see how unique this time is.  Never again will Jack have the same situation...him, mama, and daddy.  And never again...or not for a while at least ha!...will it be quite this easy.  :)
So we are doing our best to enjoy these last few days as a family of 3.  Part of me feels like a month is a long time but then I think about how quickly these last two months have gone by and I know that 4 or so weeks will happen in a blink of an eye.  I feel truly blessed to be a mom...even of just one if that were God's will.  God has blessed me richly.  We aren't rich, we don't own really nice things (by western standards at least), I don't have the perfect trendy wardrobe, or own a home.  But we are rich.  Rich in love.  For each other.  And even more, in God's love. 
So we are welcoming this new little one with open arms, and taking in these days with just Jack.  I am truly trying to see each day as a blessing.  Sometimes a hard blessing...but one none the less.

Side note: And if you are experiencing cold weather right now...I apologize.  I know that summer is supposedly brutal in Arizona but I've heard it said by people here that you get 3 months of hell but 9 months of heaven...and I'm sorta believing that.  The weather is amazing so far.  I must say though that it's starting to warm up.  We have had 90+ degree weather the last week and can I just say...I hear everyone's AC going and we wimpy, baby California people are holding out!  Bam!  Still haven't used the AC.  That's right?!?  Who's tough?  ;)  Even the husband who likes the weather to be 76 degrees is toughing it out.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

8+ months

It feels weird to say that I'm over 8 months pregnant because hello...we say pregnancy is 9 months long so I should be popping this baby out any day now right?!?  Wrong.  Pregnancy is actually more like 10 months long though you don't even KNOW that you are pregnant usually the 1st 4 weeks soooo....I guess it feels more like 9.  Ok, so it feels like 26 months can I get an amen?

So let's do a little pregger update shall we?!?

  • I am 34 weeks.
  • I have gained 30 lbs.  I gained 28 lbs with Jack...total.  Yup.  That's not happening this time around ahem.
  • Overall I feel pretty good.  I've had "mostly" non painful contractions on and off for the last week or two.  Every once in a while I get something that feels pretty sharp and ouchie.  This is all new for me.  I didn't get a single Braxton Hicks or anything the whole time I was pregnant with Jack.  When my water started leaking with Jack the doctor asked me if I felt I could go into labor on my own and I looked at her and said, "Not a chance."  Hence the induction.  :)
  • My appetite has basically taken a dive.  I am rarely hungry anymore and usually have decent nausea come 4pm.  Not much space up in this abdomen of mine for things like food.
  • I have a few regular stores I go to and the people there are starting to remember me as the big whale...ahem, pregnant lady.  They keep commenting, "You're STILL pregnant?!?"  Guys!  I have like a good 5 weeks left.  This baby is not going any where soon.
  • Speaking of the baby leaving my body.  So.  With Jack I could care less how he left my body.  Vaginal, C Section, whatever.  I just wanted him to be safe and whatever mode that ended up being was fine for me.  I also had never HAD a baby before so I was just plain open to whatever.  While I was aware of the fact that one could tear I didn't reeeeeally know to the degree that could happen, nor the recovery time.  Completely na├»ve to that.  So now we have baby #2.  Guys.  I seriously don't know what to do.  At. all.  I'm honestly okay with tearing again.  Even to the degree that I did with him but the doctors don't think I can handle a tear in the same place again...without serious consequences.  There is talk that if it DOES happen then I may have incontinence issues.  You know, that's every mother's dream to have to worry about her kid's diaper changes AND her own.  Also reconstructive surgery might have to happen.  They mentioned that they think these issues are a genetic thing.  The same reason some women don't get stretch marks or have no issues with their bladder.  Genetics.  Yeah, turns out last week I found out my aunt had major surgery after her second baby.  Completely ruined her and she had to have pelvic reconstruction...and in the end a hysterectomy  And my Nana, her mom...had trouble too.  So I'm typing all this out and I'm sure you're like UM...HELLO DUMMY get a C-section!!!!  But there is this huge part of me that is like...I don't want one.  I want them to flop baby girl on me like they did with Jack.  I don't want to stay in the hospital 5 days, be apart from Jack, and heal from a C-section.  And what if she IS smaller?!?  I feel pretty confident that I could get a smaller baby out with not too much trouble.  Gah.  But if something happened and there was permanent damage then I would be sooo mad at myself.  A C-section is just what it is.  A C-section...and then it's done.  I don't know.  We've thought about doing a size ultrasound at the end and depending on what they say deciding based on that info.  I guess there is a 1 lb "give or take" on those things so if she's measuring at 6 or 7 lbs according to it then go for the vaginal but if she's measuring 8+ then go for the C-section.  Who knows.  See.  This is my dilemma.  Help me decide.  Kidding.  ;)  Phew.  Ok, enough on THAT subject.
  • It's kinda weird/nice having had a baby and basically having everything that we need for baby girl.  All the things that I would like are basically extra things that would be "nice".  There was a consignment store that I liked in San Francisco that was great for things like wraps, toys, and etc.  It was just so-so for clothes.  Their clothes were like $6-$7 and they looked quite used.  I can get clothes for that price on clearance at Old Navy, Gap, and Target for brand new.  There is a consignment store here though that is awesome for clothes.  I basically got everything baby girl could need for the first 3 months or so for super cheap...like $1-$2 a piece.  And it's all totally brand new looking and adorable.  Score I tell ya!  :)
  • I should buy stock in heartburn products because I'm pretty sure I will be keeping their business afloat single handedly this pregnancy.  I have had heartburn so bad that at points I thought I was going to throw-up.  Lovely.  Everything gives me heartburn...everything.  Even OATMEAL gives me heartburn.  I mean, come on! 
  • Overall I just feel...excited...and a little nervous to be bringing home a second baby.  I mean, my little buddy has been my side kick for almost 2 years and now there will be three of us.  I just kinda feel a little sad to think that this time we have will be...different looking.  There will definitely be more love in the home adding another little one and I'm not sad but I can get a little nostalgic thinking about change I guess.  This is probably pretty normal.  I'm actually not that nervous for Jack.  I think he will probably adjust pretty well.  I hope I'm right!  :)  ha!  I'm also still a little weirded out that we're having a GIRL!  Like I still don't totally believe it.  I don't have a sister...and most of my cousins are boys.  There are just a lot of boys in my family and so...a girl!  Crazy for sure.
  • And if anyone is looking for a super comfy pair of maternity shorts seriously THESE THINGS are amazing.  I wear them almost every day.  The panel is super stretchy and soft and not tight feeling at all.  The best purchase this pregnant woman has made this pregnancy...actually the ONLY piece of maternity clothing I've purchased this pregnancy, ha!  :)
Phew.  I guess that's it.  I have a picture buuuut...I'm too lazy to find my camera and upload it.  So...I'll add it tomorrow maybe.  ;)

Friday, March 20, 2015

Friday Updates

It's Friday.
And what. a. week.
Seriously.

Let us do a little recap shall we?!?

  • So I got my first stomach flu...in 11 years!  Ha!  I actually can remember the last time that I got a stomach bug.  By God's grace I didn't get the throw-up version of it, but the ahem, "other version".  While it was awful...I've heard that it's pretty awful to be massively pregnant and heaving your guts out.  I also didn't have too many other symptoms so I was at least half way functioning...allowing me to take care of a certain little toddler who.......
  • then exactly 48 hours later came down with a much worse version.  The full monty...and a fever to boot.  Poor kid.  Between me and Jack being sick I basically have slept very little in 4 days buuut...what can you do.  Sleep deprivation is nothing new with little ones eh?  We are all on the mend now and slowly trying to regain our appetite.  I'm thinking I won't be hitting that 2 lb mark of weight gain at this two week baby appt.  ;)
  • Crocs.  Ok.  So these things aren't exactly the most adorable shoes...on adults.  But on little kids.  Totally cute.  I have no idea why I didn't buy a pair a long time ago.  Oh wait, because they are like $25 for a pair of plastic shoes!?!  Anyways, Jack is growing out of a lot of his shoes.  And apparently I'm all stocked up on shoes that are too big for him (ie sandals and tennis shoes).  I finally broke down and bought him a pair and they are pretty amazing.  He likes to go in the backyard and run through our wet grass...and "water" the plants with his watering can...which involves more water on his shoes and the ground then it does water getting into the actual pots.  The crocs are rubber so they get wet and then boom...they're dry.  Apparently they are comfy too because he refuses to wear anything that isn't...that's for sure.  Also I would have bought the cheapo version of them but apparently they NEVER have his size sooooo...it's name brand for us this time.  ;)
  • We just got Wifi.  I know.  We are pretty much perpetually stuck in 1991 when it comes to technology.  Funny stuff.  All we need is a coffee pot...and maybe a TV and we might actually resemble the average family who resides in at least the early 2000's.  ha!
  • I feel like I've been a bit quiet on social media lately.  Too busy with flus and just...pre-occupied.  We have family staying at our house currently.  My cousin (who is 20) was just diagnosed with a very rare, scary liver cancer yesterday.  They live in New Mexico.  He went in because of pain last week to his local ER and discovered the mass, and that it had metastasized.  They came here last weekend for the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.  They have been going through tests and biopsies and got the official word yesterday.  Apparently God had us move here just in time so that they had a place to stay for free while they figure out their next course of action.  I have been hit with so many questions this week regarding faith and suffering...both from myself and my aunt.  And you know...I just. don't. know.  I don't know.  I don't know why God makes people suffer...or heaven forbid...takes a child.  The only answer I have is that SOME how it is for His good.  Some how.  Even though I want to yell, and kick, and scream out "Why are you being so selfish God?!?" deep in my heart there has to be a reason why...outside of the sheer fact that science says eventually we will die and that's that.  We have to have faith in a God who allows such a thing because otherwise...it's truly hopeless.  You read all the books on suffering and the problem of evil and pain and when you are outside of it...it sorta makes sense.  And then you are thrown into the frontlines and all that logic and head knowledge goes out the window and your heart's pain takes over and you're left stripped down, sick to your stomach, and full of questions.  So please pray.  Pray for my cousin.  He's young and probably totally freaked.  Pray for my aunt who is a vulnerable, scared mother who loves her son so deeply.  Pray for Jason and I to be a support to them.  Pray for the meeting they have today with the surgeons that they will in fact attempt to do surgery.  If they say they can't/won't do it then that's basically the end...because chemo doesn't work on this type of cancer.  God DOES move and do miracles.  I believe it. 
Sorry to leave it on a downer.  I hope that everyone has an awesome weekend...and hug those babies of yours.  Even if they're 20+.  ;)
 
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